How to Interview a Therapist: A Complete Guide

Why Interviewing Your Therapist Matters

Most people spend more time researching a restaurant than they do choosing a therapist. That is not a judgment. It makes sense. Searching for a therapist can feel overwhelming, and by the time you have mustered the courage to make a call, you just want to get started.

But research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship, the connection between you and your therapist, is the single strongest predictor of whether therapy will work. Stronger than the type of therapy. Stronger than the therapist's credentials. Stronger than how long they have been practicing.

That does not mean credentials and approach do not matter. They do. But it means the consultation call is not just a formality. It is your opportunity to evaluate the most important ingredient in your treatment: the relationship.

This guide walks you through the entire process, from preparing for the call to making your final decision.

Part 1: Before the Call

Know What You Are Looking For

Before you pick up the phone, spend a few minutes getting clear on your needs. You do not need to have everything figured out. A general sense of direction is enough.

Write down answers to these questions:

• What brought you to therapy? (A specific problem, a life change, a general sense that something needs to shift)
• Do you have a preference for therapy style? (Structured and goal-oriented vs. open-ended and exploratory)
• Are there any dealbreakers? (Gender, availability, insurance, virtual vs. in-person)
• What has your previous therapy experience been like, if any? (What worked, what did not)

Prepare Your Questions

You do not need to ask twenty questions. Three to five well-chosen ones will give you plenty of information. Choose based on what matters most to you.

Logistics questions:

• What are your fees, and do you take my insurance?
• What is your availability?
• Do you offer virtual sessions? (See how to prepare for an online therapy session and hybrid therapy: online and in-person for more on virtual options.)

Approach questions:

• What is your therapeutic approach, and why do you use it?
• Do you have experience with my specific issue?
• How do you structure sessions?

Fit questions:

• How do you handle it when a client feels therapy is not working?
• What is your approach to giving feedback?
• How will we measure progress?

For a comprehensive list organized by category, see 25 questions to ask a therapist. If you are looking for a specific modality, we also have dedicated guides for CBT, EMDR, DBT, couples therapy, and trauma therapy.

Prepare Yourself Emotionally

It is normal to feel nervous before calling a therapist. You might worry about being judged, saying the wrong thing, or being turned away. Here is what might help:

• Remember that this is a two-way evaluation. You are interviewing them as much as they are learning about you.
• You do not need to share your full story. A consultation call is brief. A general description of what you are dealing with is enough.
• There is no wrong way to do this. If you forget a question, that is fine. If you get emotional, that is fine. Therapists are trained for all of it.
• Write down your questions so you do not have to rely on memory when you are nervous.

Plan to Talk to More Than One

The APA recommends speaking with two or three therapists before making a decision, as it gives you a basis for comparison. It also normalizes the process and takes some pressure off each individual call. Many therapists offer free 15-minute consultations specifically for this purpose.

Part 2: During the Consultation

What the Call Typically Looks Like

Most consultation calls last 10 to 20 minutes. The therapist will usually ask you a few brief questions about what you are looking for and give you a chance to ask your own questions. This is not a therapy session. It is a mutual evaluation.

A typical flow:

1. Brief introduction from the therapist
2. They ask what brings you to therapy (keep it brief, two to three sentences)
3. They share a bit about their approach and how they might work with your issue
4. You ask your prepared questions
5. Logistics discussion (scheduling, fees, insurance)
6. Next steps (booking a first session or taking time to decide)

What to Notice Beyond Their Answers

The content of their answers matters, but so does everything else. Pay attention to:

How they listen. Do they let you finish your sentences? Do they seem genuinely interested in what you are saying? Or do they seem distracted, rushed, or like they are waiting for their turn to talk?

How they explain things. Can they describe their approach clearly and without excessive jargon? Clarity is a sign of both expertise and communication skill.

How the conversation makes you feel. This is the most important data point. After the call, do you feel heard? Respected? Hopeful? Or do you feel dismissed, confused, or uneasy? Trust that feeling.

How they handle the unknown. If you ask a question they do not have a ready answer for, do they respond with curiosity and thoughtfulness? Or do they deflect or pretend to know something they do not?

The pace of the conversation. Does it feel like a natural exchange, or like an interrogation (from either side)? A good consultation feels like a conversation, not a sales pitch.

Questions to Expect From the Therapist

The therapist will likely ask you some questions too. Be prepared for:

• What brings you to therapy right now? (You can keep this brief.)
• Have you been in therapy before? (It is okay to say no.)
• What are you hoping to get out of treatment? (Even a vague answer is fine.)
• Are you currently in crisis or having thoughts of self-harm? (They may ask this to ensure appropriate care.)

You do not need to share everything on the consultation call. You can give a general overview and save the details for actual sessions.

Part 3: After the Call

How to Evaluate the Conversation

After each consultation, take a few minutes to reflect. These questions can help:

About the therapist:

• Did they seem knowledgeable about my issue?
• Could they explain their approach clearly?
• Did they seem like someone I could be honest with?
• Did they ask thoughtful questions?
• Were they transparent about logistics and fees?

About how you felt:

• Did I feel heard and respected?
• Did I feel comfortable, or at least comfortable enough to imagine getting more comfortable over time?
• Was there anything that made me uneasy?
• Can I imagine telling this person something difficult?

About the practical details:

• Does their availability work for my schedule?
• Can I afford their fees?
• Do they offer the format I need (in-person, virtual, or both)?

The "Good Enough" Test

You do not need to find the perfect therapist. You need to find a good-enough therapist who you feel you can trust, who has relevant experience, and who is logistically accessible. Waiting for perfection often means waiting indefinitely.

That said, if something feels genuinely wrong, trust that. The goal is not to talk yourself into a therapist who does not feel right. It is to avoid letting perfectionism keep you from starting.

Part 4: Making Your Decision

Compare Your Options

If you spoke with multiple therapists, compare them across three dimensions:

1. Competence: Do they have the training and experience for your issue? You can verify credentials through directories like Psychology Today or the NBCC.
2. Connection: Did you feel heard, respected, and comfortable?
3. Logistics: Does the schedule, cost, and format work for your life?

The ideal choice scores well in all three areas. If you have to prioritize, connection usually matters most.

It Is Okay to Change Your Mind

Choosing a therapist is not a lifetime commitment. If you start working with someone and realize after a few sessions that the fit is not right, you can switch. Good therapists understand this and will even help you find someone better suited to your needs.

Give a new therapist at least three to five sessions before deciding on fit, unless you encounter a serious red flag. The first session is typically intake and history-taking. The actual therapeutic work, and your sense of the relationship, begins to develop after that.

What to Do When You Have Decided

Once you have chosen, here is how to move forward:

1. Contact the therapist to schedule your first session.
2. Ask about paperwork. Many therapists send intake forms in advance so you can fill them out before your first appointment.
3. Prepare for the first session. Bring any notes you made during your self-reflection. You do not need to have a speech prepared. Just show up.
4. Set a realistic expectation. The first session is a beginning, not a breakthrough. Give the process time.

What About the Therapists You Did Not Choose?

If you spoke with other therapists you liked but ultimately did not choose, a brief email or voicemail thanking them for their time is a kind professional courtesy. It is not required, but it closes the loop respectfully. And if things do not work out with your first choice, you already have backup options.

A Quick-Reference Checklist

Use this as a simple guide to work through the process:

Before the call:

• Identified what you are looking for in therapy
• Prepared three to five questions
• Scheduled calls with two to three therapists
• Written down any dealbreakers or preferences

During the call:

• Asked your prepared questions
• Noticed how the therapist listens and communicates
• Paid attention to how the conversation made you feel
• Discussed logistics (fees, availability, format)

After the call:

• Took brief notes on each conversation
• Reflected on competence, connection, and logistics
• Compared your options if you spoke with multiple therapists

Making the decision:

• Prioritized connection alongside competence and logistics
• Scheduled your first session
• Gave yourself permission to change your mind later if needed

You Have Already Done the Hardest Part

If you are reading this guide, you have already taken the first step. Deciding to look for a therapist takes real courage. The interview process is just the practical work of making sure that courage leads you to the right person.

You deserve a therapist who makes you feel safe enough to do the hard work. And the fact that you are being thoughtful about this choice is a sign that you are ready.

For more on what to look for (and what to avoid), see our guide to therapist red flags and green flags and our comprehensive list of 25 questions to ask a therapist.

Take the First Step Today

You have the knowledge. Now take action. The right therapist is out there, and finding them can change the course of your life.

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