Therapy for Parents: A Guide to Getting Your Child or Teen Help

Why This Guide Exists

Deciding to bring your child or teenager to therapy is one of the most caring and courageous decisions a parent can make. It is also one of the most confusing. You may be unsure whether your child's behavior is "normal" or a sign of something deeper. You may not know what type of therapist to look for, how to bring up the topic without your child shutting down, or what your role should be once therapy begins.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 1 in 6 children aged 6 to 17 has a diagnosed mental health condition. Many more are struggling without a diagnosis. Early intervention — getting help before problems become entrenched — consistently leads to better outcomes.

This guide is designed to help you navigate every stage of the process, from recognizing the signs that your child might benefit from therapy to understanding what happens behind the closed door of a therapy session.

1 in 6

Source: NIMH, National Survey of Children's Health

When to Seek Help

Every child goes through difficult phases. Tantrums, moodiness, social conflicts, and academic struggles are all part of normal development. So how do you know when something has crossed the line from a typical rough patch into territory that warrants professional help?

Warning Signs by Age Group

Young children (ages 3 to 7):

• Frequent, intense tantrums that are out of proportion to the situation
• Regression — returning to behaviors they had outgrown, like bedwetting or clinging
• Persistent fearfulness, nightmares, or difficulty separating from caregivers
• Aggression toward other children, animals, or themselves
• Significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns
• Withdrawal from play, friends, or activities they previously enjoyed

School-age children (ages 8 to 12):

• Declining grades or loss of interest in school
• Frequent physical complaints — stomachaches, headaches — without a medical cause
• Social withdrawal or difficulty making or keeping friends
• Excessive worry about everyday situations
• Angry outbursts, defiance, or destructive behavior that is intensifying
• Talking about feeling worthless, hopeless, or wanting to disappear

Teenagers (ages 13 to 17):

• Persistent sadness, irritability, or emotional numbness lasting more than two weeks
• Withdrawal from family, friends, and activities
• Significant changes in sleep, appetite, or energy
• Self-harm behaviors — cutting, burning, or hitting themselves
• Substance use — alcohol, marijuana, or other drugs
• Talk of suicide, death, or feeling like a burden
• Risky or impulsive behavior that is new or escalating
• Sudden decline in academic performance

The "Two-Week Rule"

A helpful guideline: if concerning behaviors persist for more than two weeks and are interfering with your child's ability to function at home, school, or with friends, it is worth seeking a professional evaluation. You do not need to be certain something is wrong — you just need to be concerned enough to ask.

How to Talk to Your Child About Therapy

The way you introduce therapy can shape your child's attitude toward it. The goal is to normalize the experience, reduce fear, and give your child a sense of agency.

For Younger Children (Under 10)

Keep it simple and concrete. You might say:

• "We are going to visit someone whose job is to help kids with big feelings."
• "A therapist is like a feelings coach. They help you figure out what to do when you feel really sad, mad, or scared."
• "You get to play, draw, and talk in a special room. There are no tests and no grades."

Avoid using therapy as a consequence. Never say "If you do not behave, you will have to go to therapy." This frames it as punishment and undermines the process before it begins.

For Teens

Teenagers value autonomy and are sensitive to feeling pathologized. Approach the conversation with honesty and respect:

• "I have noticed you seem to be going through a tough time, and I want to make sure you have support."
• "Therapy is not about being broken. It is about having a private space to work through things with someone who is not your parent or friend."
• "I am not going to force you, but I would really like you to try a few sessions. If it is not helpful, we can talk about other options."

Let your teen have a voice in choosing their therapist. If they feel like therapy is being done to them rather than for them, engagement will suffer.

What If Your Child Refuses?

It is not uncommon for children — especially teens — to resist therapy. Some strategies:

• Validate their feelings. "I understand you do not want to go. That makes sense — it is something new and unfamiliar."
• Offer limited choices. "You can choose between these two therapists" gives them control without making therapy optional.
• Start with a low-commitment ask. "Will you try one session? If you hate it, we will talk about it."
• Model openness. If you have been in therapy yourself, sharing that — briefly and without oversharing — normalizes the experience.

Choosing the Right Type of Therapy

Different therapy approaches work best at different developmental stages and for different concerns.

You do not need to choose a therapy type before your first appointment. A qualified child therapist will assess your child and recommend the approach that fits best. However, if your child has a specific concern like OCD, PTSD, or ADHD, look for therapists with specialized training in evidence-based approaches for that condition.

For more on specific approaches, see our pages on CBT, DBT, EMDR, and family therapy.

Finding the Right Therapist

What to Look For

• Licensure. The therapist should be licensed in your state (LCSW, LPC, LMFT, or psychologist).
• Experience with your child's age group. Working with a 5-year-old is fundamentally different from working with a 15-year-old.
• Specialization in your child's concern. General therapists are fine for general concerns, but specific issues like eating disorders, OCD, or trauma require specialized training.
• A personality your child can connect with. The therapeutic relationship matters as much for kids as it does for adults.

Where to Search

• Your pediatrician — Often the best first referral source for child therapists
• School counselors — They know local providers and can provide context about your child's functioning at school
• Psychology Today's directory — Filter by "child" or "adolescent" under specialties
• Your insurance company's provider list — Filter for child and adolescent mental health
• Local parent networks — Other parents' firsthand experience is invaluable

For a detailed walkthrough of the therapist search process, see our guide on how to find a therapist.

What to Expect From the Process

The First Session (Intake)

The intake session often involves you — the parent — more than the child. The therapist will want to understand your child's history, current concerns, family dynamics, school functioning, and your goals for treatment. Some therapists conduct the intake with parents alone; others include the child for part of the session.

Bring any relevant records: school evaluations, previous psychological assessments, medical records, or notes from your pediatrician.

Ongoing Sessions

After the intake, most child therapy sessions are 45 to 50 minutes. For younger children, sessions involve play, art, and storytelling more than traditional "talk therapy." For teens, sessions look more like adult therapy — conversation-based, with the therapist introducing skills and strategies.

Most therapists recommend weekly sessions to start. As your child improves, sessions may move to biweekly or monthly before eventually ending.

How Long Does It Take?

There is no universal timeline, but general benchmarks include:

• Mild concerns (adjustment issues, mild anxiety): 8 to 12 sessions
• Moderate concerns (clinical anxiety, depression, behavioral issues): 12 to 24 sessions
• Complex concerns (trauma, eating disorders, severe behavioral problems): 6 months to a year or more

How to Be Involved Without Overstepping

Your involvement matters. Research published in the Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology consistently shows that parental engagement improves therapy outcomes for children and teens. But there is a line between supportive involvement and overstepping.

What Good Involvement Looks Like

• Attend parent check-ins. Most child therapists schedule periodic meetings with parents to share progress and discuss strategies for home.
• Reinforce skills at home. If the therapist is teaching your child coping strategies, ask how you can support practice between sessions.
• Create a supportive environment. Avoid interrogating your child after sessions. Instead, say something like, "I am glad you went today. Let me know if you ever want to talk about anything."
• Be consistent. Show up for appointments on time. Canceling frequently sends the message that therapy is not important.
• Work on yourself. If the therapist suggests that family dynamics are contributing to your child's struggles, be open to that feedback. Consider your own therapy or family therapy sessions.

What Overstepping Looks Like

• Demanding a detailed report of what your child said in every session
• Pressuring the therapist to share information your teen disclosed in confidence
• Undermining the therapist's recommendations because you disagree
• Using information from therapy against your child during arguments
• Trying to direct the content or pace of sessions

Confidentiality With Minors

Confidentiality in child and teen therapy is nuanced, and understanding the boundaries helps build trust with both your child and their therapist.

General Guidelines

• Young children (under 12): Parents typically have more access to session content, though the therapist will still maintain a level of privacy to build trust with the child.
• Adolescents (12 to 17): Most therapists establish a confidentiality agreement at the start of treatment. The teen's disclosures are generally kept private, but the therapist will break confidentiality if the teen is at risk of harm to themselves or others, or if there is suspected abuse.
• What parents can expect to know: General themes being worked on, overall progress, and recommendations for home — without specific details of what the teen said.

Exceptions to Confidentiality

Therapists are legally and ethically required to break confidentiality in specific situations:

• Imminent risk of suicide or self-harm
• Imminent risk of harm to someone else
• Suspected child abuse or neglect
• A court order requiring disclosure

Outside of these situations, your teen's therapy sessions are their private space.

Insurance and Cost Considerations

What Does Child Therapy Cost?

Insurance Coverage

Most insurance plans cover mental health services for children and adolescents. Under the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act, insurers must cover mental health at the same level as medical care. Key steps:

1. Call your insurance company and ask about child and adolescent mental health benefits
2. Ask for a list of in-network child therapists
3. Confirm whether prior authorization is needed
4. Understand your copay, deductible, and session limits

If Cost Is a Barrier

• School counseling services — Free and often the fastest access point
• Medicaid/CHIP — Covers therapy for qualifying families with minimal or no copays
• Sliding-scale practices — Many private therapists adjust fees based on family income
• Open Path Collective — Sessions for $30 to $80 per session with a one-time membership fee
• University training clinics — Supervised graduate students at low cost
• EAPs — Your employer's Employee Assistance Program may cover sessions for your child

For more on the cost of therapy for young people, see our guide on teen therapy cost.

When Therapy Is Not Enough

Sometimes outpatient therapy — once or twice per week — is not sufficient. If your child's symptoms are severe, worsening despite consistent therapy, or creating safety concerns, a higher level of care may be necessary.

Higher levels of care include:

• Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP): 9 to 19 hours per week of structured programming while living at home
• Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHP): Full-day treatment programs, 5 to 6 days per week
• Residential treatment: 24/7 therapeutic care in a non-hospital setting, typically for 30 to 90 days
• Inpatient hospitalization: For acute crises requiring immediate safety and stabilization

For a detailed explanation of each level, see our guide on levels of care.

Your Next Step

If you have been wondering whether your child needs therapy, that question itself is worth exploring with a professional. You do not need to have a diagnosis or be in crisis to start the conversation.

1. Talk to your pediatrician. They can screen for mental health concerns and provide referrals.
2. Talk to your child. Use the language suggestions earlier in this guide to introduce the idea.
3. Search for a therapist. Use the directories and strategies outlined above.
4. Book a consultation. Most child therapists offer a free call so you can assess fit before committing.

You are not overreacting by seeking help. You are doing exactly what a good parent does.

Looking for a Child or Teen Therapist?

Finding the right therapist for your child is one of the most meaningful steps you can take. Start by identifying what your child needs and exploring your options.

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